Thursday, August 29, 2013

Stephanie

I'd like to tell you all about my friend Stephanie.

I met Stephanie two years ago when she joined my company as a Management Trainee. She came in with long hair, a well made up face and a very short skirt (sorry Steph, the first thing I remember about you is that tiny skirt!)

Anyway, Steph is somebody that I find very admirable. She's 25 this year, and has just recently bought her own car (a nice spiffy Forte) and a condo of her own. What I find most admirable and incredible about this is really that she's doing this on her own. Do you have any idea how expensive property in Malaysia is? I'm two years older than her and I'm still living in my mom's house and driving a car given to me by my sister.

But that's not the full point. While yes, I find it very admirable that she's independent enough to get her own car and property, what I find much more admirable is the strength of character she shows in the face of adversity. If you look at her, you'd think she's a soft, sweet girl. Her hair is done in long waves, she's often wearing a pretty headband, and she favors floral dresses and high heels. Yet, don't think her weak or soft - cause I've really seen, over and over again, that she's really strong and determined. When she sets her mind to something, she gets it done. Lately, she's been helping me try and crawl out of my big hole of debt (finally crawled out this month, yay!) and she also came with me when I went to visit the kiddies home last week. And honestly, while I thought it was enough to just go there and play with the kids and spend time with them, she's the one that thought it would be a great idea if we went with some cakes or snacks for them.

She's very considerate, she thinks of others and she's very easygoing. Yet, she's firm. I find this a really impressive combination, because she's really like a steel rod wrapped in layers of pink cotton candy - and I really haven't met anyone else like this before. And honestly, she's just damn sweet. And genuine. You need genuine people in your life.

So this is Stephanie, whom I'm very glad I've gotten to know a lot better especially these past few months. She's a lot more than a colleague, and I'm very proud to call her my friend. She's my friend who tried to reach over and give me a hug yesterday when I burst into tears because I was telling her how worried I am about losing my sight. (I say tried cause I batted her away, I get much worse when people hug me when crying.)  She stayed positive and told me not to worry, I could always find a really hot new pair of sexy cat eye glasses and still look cute.

Its things like that, you know. You need people like that in your life. People who bring light into your life, people you can be yourself with.

So Stephanie, you keep doing your thing! Wear those short skirts and high heels and keep kicking ass, cause you're awesome that way :)

Contribute

If you died tomorrow, would society miss you?

Would they look at you and think you've made a change? An impact? Would you have touched people's lives?

Would people miss you, mourn you, and speak well of you?

I'm not too sure what I was reading the other day, but something struck me and I realized that if I died tomorrow, I have not made my mark or impact in this world yet.

This is one of the reasons I started going to the handicapped kids home, because I think it's time that I give back to society, and also because I want to be able to say I have touched other people's lives in a positive way.

I don't want people to think 'Good riddance, she's finally not part of this world anymore!'

Sometimes there are things that put a lot of things into perspective. 

We chase the things we want - the dream job, the dream car, the dream partner, the big toys, the good food, the expensive clothes - all those things. But to a point..do they really matter?

They make a difference. They definitely do. I might not lust after a Porsche right now but I won't lie and tell you I don't want to drive some old clunky beat up car. I don't.

But sometimes we get so caught up in this race, in this chase to be bigger, better, faster - and for what?

Yes, self satisfaction.

Which is good. This drives people on, and I always believe ambition and drive are great things to have.

What I'm trying to say is, we shouldn't forget the important things in life.

We shouldn't forget that we should be good to others. Kind to others.

I'm not particularly nice or kind to people, especially if I feel they are people of my level, people who are bitchy, people who annoy me, etc. I'm not a saint. I am very far from being a saint. Sometimes I feel there isn't a real need or point to be nice to these people because they're idiots anyway.

Maybe that's why I'm starting from the kids home, because I feel that it's a lot more appreciated there, and it's so much easier.

Yes. I'm not altogether noble. It is easier to be nicer to them because they want you there. But I think that when I go there, I have a good time with them, and they have a good time with me (I do hope so) and all is well.

I'm trying to do my bit in this world. I'm trying to leave a little bit of me in this world, even if it's indelible. I'd like to be remembered fondly, and not just as an angry, grumpy, cranky person. 

I'd like to know I made a difference to someone else's life. 

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Toxic



This post is about toxic people, aka the toxic waste you should remove immediately from your life.

Most of the time, you’re able to tell who’s toxic and who’s not.

A toxic person is someone who doesn’t make you feel good about yourself. He / she / it (in fact, I’m going to start referring to toxic people as ‘Its’ because they certainly don’t behave very human sometimes) will question you, bring your self worth down, make you feel small, etc.

Now, don’t be mistaken. Sometimes people in your life will do that – questioning your decisions, grilling you see if you’re making the right choice. Some of these people really mean well, and some are older than you, and have done it before, and are trying to lead you to the right direction. Sometimes, it’s pretty easy to mistake people who question you as toxic people. If you’re questioning me so much and asking me so much nonsense and making me feel like I’m an idiot, aren’t you then a toxic person?

Not necessarily.

Here’s what a toxic person is to me.

It’s always comparing. Better job? Better salary? Better partner? Better grades? As long as there’s something to compare, there’s something to be better at!

A little competition is healthy, but not when it’s all the time. That’s just not fun then.

I have to say, I am quite lucky because I actually don’t have any toxic people at work who do this, but I certainly have encountered these types of characters before.

It belittles you, and when you show signs of wanting to grow it stops and impedes you.

What do I mean here? I mean when for instance you want to take up a new skill or do something new. Maybe you’re bored. Maybe you want to improve yourself. Whatever the reasons, learning something new is always a good thing. (Ok, a bit dependant on what exactly it is you’re planning on learning, but that’s a story for another day). “Why are you doing this? You’ll never get anywhere. You’re just wasting your time!”

Seriously. I rather waste my time doing something new, and learning something new and failing miserably at it rather than listen to your drivel. Save it, and go fix your own life before you attempt to fix mine.

It doesn’t listen to you.

Enough said. Your’e not heard. You explain yourself, but it doesn’t hear you. It’s absorbed in its own world, convinced in its own supremacy and right that it’s the smartest thing alive. It’s a know-it-all, and honestly, this gets really annoying after a while. Also, being with someone who doesn’t listen to you is not going to be good for you in the long run. You’ll start feeling frustrated as to why you’re never heard, and then you start wondering what’s wrong with yourself.

It’s not there for you

This one is really about friends. There are some good friends that are reliable and will always be there for you. This one, will always put its own needs first. And when you really need it, it won’t be there.

I have learned this the hard way.

Anyway, this post isn’t meant to bash toxic people. Heck, most of the time these toxic people probably don’t realize they’re being toxic, and sometimes they’ve become toxic because the environment around them is toxic. It’s not so much about them, but it’s about you.

I will be honest. I think I have also been a toxic person before. I used to be extremely self absorbed. Ok, I’m trying to be less self absorbed now. It takes practice, so be patient.

The point is, half the time, people don’t realize they’re being insensitive or making you feel bad. And instead of beating themselves (or yourself) up about it, it’s better to just make the decision to remove or phase them out of your life. It’s not about having a big quarrel – “Hey you big toxic bitch, GTFO out of my life!” – no. No. This is not what it is about. Also sometimes, I have discovered toxic people become less toxic over time (when you meet them again after a while). So, tempting as it is, don’t burn bridges.

But you be selfish. You should know who you should keep in your life. Keep people who bring value add to your life. By this I do not mean now you should only keep rich people in your life. No. (Handy, yes. But no). Keep people who enrich your life. People who make you laugh. People who inspire you. Who make you grow. Who make you think. Who are there for you.

Waterfall

The title of this post is stolen from inoveryourhead.net.

Read the blogpost here :

http://inoveryourhead.net/waterfall/

It makes sense.

To be honest, I've been trying to write everyday and publish every day, and that's also probably why some of the things I write are a little inane, because I sometimes am not really in the mood to write, but am publishing it for the sake of publishing it anyway.

In case you're wondering, I've decided to write every day because it's been a goal of mine since I was a child to write a book. This goal, however, has always been shunted onto the shelf for various reasons - too busy, no time, no inspiration, etc, etc.

While I still haven't gotten myself down to actually drafting a book on what I want to write, I decided that it would be good to get into the groove of writing by, well, actually writing a little bit every day.

I like what he says though, about writing every day but working on one post at a time.

I'm going to start doing that.

Anyway, it has been an insanely busy time lately, but I will only talk about it after this whole halestorm is over - it's difficult to process things objectively at this state, and I've been feeling a little bit too unfocused and overwhelmed.

But yes, one post at a time.

Or did I understand him wrong? Did he mean to continue writing a post a day, but at the same time working on a super duper post?

I don't know.

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Justina


I have decided to write about a person every week, and the person that I want to write about this week is my really good friend Justina.

Now, before that, why I’ve decided to write about a person each week is because there have been some people who have really touched my life before, some people who really inspire me, some people who make me want to be a better person, and some people who I just find plain amazing. I’d like to share with you how these people have inspired me for the positive and made my life a better place.

I met Justina about three years ago if I’m not mistaken. She was new at work and she caused quite a stir at first, because she was very pretty and well dressed and all the boys at work went a little cuckoo over her.  We weren’t colleagues for very long, she quit a few months later but we always maintained our friendship.

Here’s what I find very admirable about her though.

She really is her own person. She quit her job and went full time into doing a blogshop business. Now, I don’t now how many people can really do something like this full time and really sustain their whole livelihood. I find this really impressive – I started a blogshop part time when I was in university but it never really went anywhere and I ended up wearing most of the clothes myself.

She’s very firm in her ideas and in her own beliefs, she’s not the type of girl that you can push over. She’s got a very strong idea of what’s right and what’s not, and will not tolerate nonsense. Don’t get me wrong, she’s definitely not some strict, schoolmistressy type, if you were to meet her you would find a very charming, well dressed pretty girl, but what I like most about her is that she really does not take nonsense. At the same time, she is very tolerant, and very giving so it’s quite an amazing package.

She’s also a go to friend for me. She’s somebody I trust, and somebody that I really do turn to when I’m in need of advice or an opinion. She has this knack of putting a lot of things into perspective and also, seeing things in a totally different light which I never did before.

There are a lot of other good points about her, but these are really the parts about her that I find most admirable and also inspirational. How many 27 year old girls do you know who run their own businesses and are doing well? (She was younger then when she did it, too!)

So, a toast to the friendship. A toast to a really good girlfriend who has made my life a better place, and who I am very glad to have met. There are some people in this world who are special, and who are different, and who are just truly good friends, and she really is one of them.

Friday, August 23, 2013

Tired


As I write this today, I am very tired and I’m taking a moment to reflect. The past few weeks have been really busy, and I think it’s finally taken a toll on my health. That, combined with lack of sleep, and stressing about things like gas leaks (no, it’s too long and boring a story to go into), has finally ended up making me a very cranky, grouchy person.

So I figured, time to declutter again.

No, not just throw things away. By the way, I am very pleased to report that I have continued to make my bed every morning now. My room used to be the messiest place in the house, but now it’s still neat and tidy! It’s also really a lot nicer and more restful when you go to bed at night – seeing a clean and tidy bed with nothing that shouldn’t be on it there.

I’m not decluttering physical things, but I’m decluttering activity from my life. So tonight, I have decided to sleep no later than 9:30pm. I’m tired, and I need rest. I’m putting my Chinese away for the night, and I’m not sure if it’s an excuse or not (at least I don’t think it is), but in order for me to be more productive, I think it’s better for me to rest properly.

It’s about pacing yourself, and taking things easy. I learned this the hard way when I got put away in a hospital last year because I had pneumonia. Truly, a not fun experience in any way at all.

Tonight, what I am going to do is some writing, maybe a little reading, but also some meditation.

I’m sure then my mind will be a lot clearer and relaxed and I’ll be ready to take on a whole bunch of challenges. 

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Disturbing


I received tickets to watch the movie screening of Frozen Ground a couple of days ago, and I happily accepted without knowing head or tail of what the movie was about.

Anyway, when I got to the cinema, I was a bit horrified to discover it was a Nicolas Cage movie (the past 3 movies I’ve seen with him inside it have been less than impressive) but it was too late to do anything about it then.

The movie  is actually based on a true story of the hunt for this sick serial rapist / killer. If you Google Robert Hansen up, you can actually read about this guy. I won’t say much about this movie except that it’s pretty disturbing (especially when you’re watching it during Hungry Ghost festival and get lost in the carpark after the movie) and also quite entertaining. The movie does have a little bit of a slow pace, but I have to say I actually really did like this movie despite it having Vanessa Hudgens in there (she was dancing around in a bra and panty at one scene, is there any surprise there?)

After watching the movie, I went and Googled up the real story. It really is very scary, what he did to all those girls. In movie form it’s entertaining, but when you actually think of how he did this to all those poor girls, it’s terrifying.

I wonder what drives people to do such things. Apparently he was bullied as a child and also had some sort of schizophrenia or disorder but was not taking medication.

Anyway, when you watch a movie like that, it makes you realize how lucky you are that your life is so sheltered. One of the victims that got away, Cindy Paulsen (real girl) was a prostitute that managed to escape. There are a couple of scenes which shows Cindy in seedy clubs etc, and again it makes you realize how lucky you are that you’re in a safe and sheltered environment, instead of one with pimps and drugs lurking around at any corner.

So, go ahead. Watch that movie. But probably not during Hungry Ghost Festival.