Would they look at you and think you've made a change? An impact? Would you have touched people's lives?
Would people miss you, mourn you, and speak well of you?
I'm not too sure what I was reading the other day, but something struck me and I realized that if I died tomorrow, I have not made my mark or impact in this world yet.
This is one of the reasons I started going to the handicapped kids home, because I think it's time that I give back to society, and also because I want to be able to say I have touched other people's lives in a positive way.
I don't want people to think 'Good riddance, she's finally not part of this world anymore!'
Sometimes there are things that put a lot of things into perspective.
We chase the things we want - the dream job, the dream car, the dream partner, the big toys, the good food, the expensive clothes - all those things. But to a point..do they really matter?
They make a difference. They definitely do. I might not lust after a Porsche right now but I won't lie and tell you I don't want to drive some old clunky beat up car. I don't.
But sometimes we get so caught up in this race, in this chase to be bigger, better, faster - and for what?
Yes, self satisfaction.
Which is good. This drives people on, and I always believe ambition and drive are great things to have.
What I'm trying to say is, we shouldn't forget the important things in life.
We shouldn't forget that we should be good to others. Kind to others.
I'm not particularly nice or kind to people, especially if I feel they are people of my level, people who are bitchy, people who annoy me, etc. I'm not a saint. I am very far from being a saint. Sometimes I feel there isn't a real need or point to be nice to these people because they're idiots anyway.
Maybe that's why I'm starting from the kids home, because I feel that it's a lot more appreciated there, and it's so much easier.
Yes. I'm not altogether noble. It is easier to be nicer to them because they want you there. But I think that when I go there, I have a good time with them, and they have a good time with me (I do hope so) and all is well.
I'm trying to do my bit in this world. I'm trying to leave a little bit of me in this world, even if it's indelible. I'd like to be remembered fondly, and not just as an angry, grumpy, cranky person.
I'd like to know I made a difference to someone else's life.