Sunday, September 22, 2013

Misery

One of the things I have learned in life is that happiness is a choice.
Yes, I label this post misery.
The thing about misery is, while we all complain a lot about it, we sometimes make no effort in getting out of our miserable circumstances.

There is a strange sort of familiarity in revelling in misery, in playing the victim. If this rocks your boat, great. But if you want something more out of life, then do something about it.

I strongly believe we all have choices. If you're miserable in your job, it's time to do something about it. If you can't quit it, you need to figure a way to make it better. Work better with an insane boss. Develop frustrating subordinates. There are always choices, and it's just a matter of whether we want to put that time and effort into doing something about it.

It's the same with relationships. If you don't put effort into a relationship that's slowly dying - be it a relationship with a family member, partner or friend, nothing positive is going to come out of things. Relationships are a lot trickier because they are two way - you can put in a lot of effort, but if your partner chooses not to, then you are essentially screwed too. However, you then have that choice to choose whether you want to leave it or not.

Misery feeds off misery. It's easy to be affected be people around you who are negative. There are people in life who want to see you suffer. They'll tell you things to make you feel bad. Get rid of these people. That choice is yours.

There are also people who want you to do well in life. Genuine people, who want you to succeed. It's not that easy to find these people, but when you do, keep them. Make an effort with them. Things aren't always going to be rosy and perfect, but what is, in life?

Whether you choose happiness or misery, it's your choice. You make your bed, you sleep in it.

One of the conscious efforts / choices that I'm trying to do now is practice more minimalism in my life. It's easy at the beginning, you're on a rush and a high, and everything is new and exciting. However, after a couple of months, you start sliding off it a little. I bought two necklaces today. No, I don't need them. I know that having more trinkets in my life won't make me a happier person, or make me happier in general. It's like being an alcoholic, craving for a sip and kidding yourself that it's your 'last time'.

So for me, I'm still trying. I'm going to slide off the wagon a couple more times, but that's okay. Every time you slide off the wagon, you climb back up, and you're a little better each time. I've learnt not to be too hard on myself, but at the same time, not be too gentle either or you'll never get better at anything to do.

Your choice.

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