Thursday, November 28, 2013

Undergarment

Well, lately, I seem to be on a roll of showing people all my undergarments.

My cupboard drawer got stuck today, so a maintanence guy came to fix it.

I was at my laptop when he came to me, giggling sheepishly, and pointed me to the bedroom.

"Miss..the reason why your drawer was stuck was because..all your...hee hee hee..all of this...got stuck behind the cupboard drawer!"

He points at a massive pile of my..erm..how do I put this delicately - underthings which he has now heaped on the bed.

I am a little embarrassed, again.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Wardrobe

Over the past four months, I've been on a decluttering roll - especially with my clothes.

I have tons of clothes - not branded or anything, but I've kept on to them because I could always fit into them, and 'maybe one day I will wear it'.

Well, guess what? That 'maybe one day' most likely never comes.

Over the past four months, I have gotten rid of six large garbage bags of clothes.

I'm trying to get rid of my shoes and bags too - so far only 10 pairs of shoes have been given away, and only 2 bags, but my cupboard has reduced significantly.

Here are a few things I have learnt in order to declutter effectively.

1. Do it every day.

If you do a massive spring clean once a year, most likely your cupboard is going to look good for one month at most, before you start buying new things and filling it up again. Soon, you're back to square zero.
The Salvation Army is coming to my house next week to collect some things, so what I have been doing every day is putting away things I want to give away. The rule is - once it goes into the donation box, I cannot look at it again and think 'Hey..well, maybe this is kinda cute!' and take it out again.
Also, when you do it every day, some days you feel like donating more, and some days you don't.
Inevitably, there are going to be items that you just want to hold on to - for me, what I do is I take it out of my cupboard and hang it up somewhere visible I can see, and if within the next two weeks (sometimes this stretches to a month) if I haven't worn it, or found an excuse to wear it, then it has to go into the donation heap.

2. Stop buying so much. One in, five out.

Of course, the temptation to buy a lot of stuff (now that there's a lot more cupboard space) is going to be there.
The new rule I abide by with is, if I really want to buy an item of clothing, I have to get rid of five.
This tests out how much you really want it, and also sometimes you might discover you already have something similar! (For instance, I have an obsession for black singlet tops. I discovered I had six the last count, when I really only need one. Or two! Two at max!)

3. Don't buy more space.

I'm living in a 40sqm apartment now, and my cupboard is not very large. I've been toying with the idea of buying a new garment rack - but I'm going to resist, because with a new garment rack, there's going to be new hangers, and inevitably, new clothes hanging on them! Keep space limited, and you'll discover what you really like and have a more 'efficient' wardrobe (you'll have less, but you'll be wearing a higher percentage of your clothes more often). Have you ever heard of that saying where you only wear 20% of your wardrobe? Imagine, 80% being nothing but pure clutter!

4. Focus on quality, not quantity.

Every time people told me this the last time, I used to be like PFFFT I am totally a quantity kind of girl! I love going to Platinum Mall and buying shitloads of clothes. Everything is so cute!!!
However, most of the stuff I get there, frays pretty easily too. There was this one dress I bought that was shrinking with every wear. It used to be up to my knees, then it came to a point where my colleagues were asking me 'Why are you being so slutty and wearing such a short dress?'

And there I was..thinking..but I don't remember this dress being so short..

5. Stop being a garbage bin

Because I'm quite a skinny girl, a lot of people tend to give me stuff that they can't fit anymore. I used to gleefully accept - but I have discovered that normally I end up not really wearing what they gave me (due to different styles, or sometimes, I discover after a while I HATE THAT BITCH!!!) then it also ends up taking up space.

Now I'm only a garbage bin to stuff I really like :D

PS. Angelica - I really like your stuff. *hint*

So, those are my five points on decluttering your wardrobe. And hey, I think if I've been able to get rid of so much stuff in the past few months, I'm at least a little bit qualified to write something about it :)

Happy decluttering!

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Embarrassing

Well, well.
I dressed carefully for work today. I wore a black dress, black stockings, gray suede heels, and a scarf wrapped around my neck.
I also forgot one very important detail.
But before that, I was going to and fro from my house to the office, sitting in the MRT, changing lines, walking about.
I forgot..to fucking zip my dress up.

It's a side zip. I put it on, totally forgot about it (also because I wasn't wearing my glasses!) and just scooted out of the house!

I only found out when I was two minutes away from the office, and was waiting for a pedestrian's light. A girl tapped me on the shoulder (she was Filipino) and said, 'Excuse me...your zip isn't zipped.'

Trust a Filipino to be nice, but that's a different point.

Also, today was the day I chose to wear my super hot pink bra, so you can imagine me walking around Singapore with a gaping hole at the side and my pink bra flashing the world.

So, so, so embarrassing!!

Friday, November 22, 2013

Week

Week Round Up

Facts :

1. I am so goddamn tired.
2. I am so happy to have a partner-in-crime who understands what I'm going through and is exactly going through what I'm going through! :)
3. I hate, hate, hate ********* (can't say, phobia).
4. I don't even care how funny I look running in and out of the apartment every day.
5. I don't need so many clothes. And, I've outgrown all my tastes. Hate everything in my wardrobe.
6. I hate wearing glasses.
7. I hate optometrists who get my power wrong.
8. I wish my hair didn't resemble a broom.
9. I really like living near a hawker centre :D
10. I need a broom. And, no. Not from my head. 

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Jealous

Ever noticed on your Facebook wall, there will be people posting quotes that go something along the lines of "If people talk bad about you, or behind your back, they envy you, they're jealous, and they wish to be like you?"

While I think there's truth to it, it doesn't necessarily ring true in all cases.

After all, you could just be a very big bitch, and people may not necessarily be jealous of you.

But, that's not the point!

The point is, when we bitch about people, we never think about it that way, do we? And come on, we're no angels. We've all had a good coffee session before (or if you haven't, I've had) bitching over someone and his or her annoying behaviours. If I were to think about it, I'm not jealous of that person, am I? So what makes me think if people talk about me, they're jealous?

I feel that these silly quotes were all just invented to make one feel better. And, before we start throwing them around, maybe we should start contemplating how we ourselves act.

On another note, GREAT article I read on jealousy on zenhabits. Everyone should read it!

Click here for it.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Phobia

It's been a month and half of me being in Singapore, and I absolutely love every minute of it so far!
Also, time has been passing too quickly, and what with settling into my new home and a new place, I realize I've hardly had time for myself, let alone to write.

But of course, you and I both know that 'busy' is not an excuse :) You make time for the things you want to do.

What I want to write about today is really a certain phobia of things. I'm not going to tell you what it is, because I can't bring myself to type it, but because of this, it involves me scuttling in and out of my apartment as fast as I can go every day.

So, imagine me.

Dressed in my work clothes, made up. The minute I reach the ground floor, I run as fast as possible till I get out of my condo.

The same thing repeats itself at night, I hold my keycard ready, and when I step into my condo, I run in super fast, and sometimes I try and close my eyes so I don't see things, and only breathe a sigh of relief once I've jumped in the lift.

Not only that, I've been having dreams. Dreams about my phobia. Everywhere I go, it rears its ugly head and is ready to pounce on me!

Also, this sort of behaviour is a little surprising for your friends. My friend came home with me the other day, and got perplexed on why the minute I got in my apartment, I ran as fast as possible to the lift, leaving him behind. When I got to the lift, I realized he'd been left behind so there I was yelling for him to hurry up.

He calls me crazy.

ANYWAY!

So this has kind of been affecting my life! I started googling how to face your phobias, and one of the things to do is to take things step by step.

So here are a couple of things I'm doing.

I try not to run out of my condo. It's really hard. I succeed normally for the first ten seconds, then an overwhelming sense of panic comes over me and before you know it I'm running. 

This morning, I listened to music and sang along to distract myself.

Yesterday, I thought about this bitch that I can't stand - but this was not very good, because both phobia or bitch are neither pleasant things to think about.

So, I'm going to continue this! I hope one day I'll be writing a blog post on how I've successfully overcome my phobia :)

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Indebted

There are certain things people will say to you, designed to make you feel indebted to them.
They speak to you, act as if they have your best interests at heart, but what they're doing is just taking care of themselves, and trying to give themselves a feeling of superiority.
Here's the thing.
I know who I'm indebted to. Who I'm grateful to. Who has helped me. Who has shaped me into the person that I am.
I also know that it irks me to no end, if you decide to hint to me not-so-subtly what I should, and should not do. The same with how I should, and should not feel.

I'll give you an example, an analogy here.
"You should be grateful to your mother because she has fed and clothed you," says a person far removed from you.
This is basic.
This, I know by myself.
Do you think I need you, someone far away from me, telling me what to do?
Do you think I would not know how to feel grateful to my own mother?
(By the way, this is just an example, but I just find it very apt.)
If I'm the one being fed, clothed and loved by my mother, for sure I know how to be grateful. And you, should go away.
You, with your clever comments, should go away.
You should figure your own life out, before attempting to tell me about mine, especially when I have not asked for your opinion.
Also, if I have been acting ungrateful, then I would understand the need for this.
But, no.
Instead, it's just another uncalled for comment, one that doesn't value add anyone's life.

it annoys me, that there are so many people out there who try their best to be negative. Sure, sometimes we do it unintentionally. I guess then, we need to have a little more self awareness (and I am definitely included in this cycle).

Be more positive. And this starts with myself, actually. I write a post here about how annoyed I am, but all I'm doing in actual fact is continuing the negative spiral. It's difficult, to smile at people you want to punch. I'm not zen. I don't have a poker face. When people annoy me, you can tell. My face gets very grumpy and puckered up. I've tried keeping it a little more neutral but it hurts my face.

But again, nothing in life comes easy. And if I don't start trying to be more positive, or trying to let these silly comments not annoy me so much, I'll end up being just like these people that I detest.

I'm trying. A little. I could do with a lot more effort. I believe in fixing myself, before fixing others. It's just a lot easier to pinpoint people's faults then deal with your own.

Things are a little roundabout over here, can you tell?

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Language

Hello, guten tag!

I am trying to learn a little bit of German (now, I was always a little undecided about whether to learn French or Chinese) but as I might be off to Germany during Christmas, I thought it was a good idea to learn German and be able to blabber a bit if spoken to.

I've also been reading up on polyglotism, which basically means people who can speak lots of languages - something like a minimum of 6 languages. They all pretty much say the same thing, it's not as hard as it looks, but it's definitely hard work, and learning languages get easier with every language you master. Also, sometimes there's this fear in your head that causes a huge stumbling block - when you believe something is very difficult and cannot be mastered.

This is very true for me. To be honest, I fear the Chinese language. I find it humiliating to be Chinese, and not to be able to converse in Mandarin. I'm going to tell you all my reasons (in actual fact, lame excuses) of why I don't make the effort to learn Mandarin (but really, all they are at the end of the day are excuses, because if you put your mind to something, it can be done).

1. Every time I speak Mandarin, people laugh at my accent and say I sound like a white person speaking Chinese. I find the tones so difficult to differentiate. Call me tone-deaf. But I just..don't get it. And I hate being laughed at (which is one of the reasons a lot of people drop a language, because it gets them so far out of their comfort zone).

2. Learning Mandarin is doubly tough (in fact, when I attempted to learn French, I managed to learn a lot more words than Mandarin) because it's a whole new set of characters. It's learning the meaning, the character and the pronounciation. It's too much for my little brain to handle.

3. I fear speaking to people in Mandarin, because inevitably when they speak back to me in Mandarin...I never understand what they say because it's too fast.

4. I'm Chinese...and I don't speak or understand it. It's just plain embarrassing.

The point of this is...I find polyglotism very fascinating. Some speak about how a whole new world is opened up to you when you suddenly master a new language. Since I'm nowhere near mastering anything, I can only imagine this. But I really do think this must be fascinating, hearing people jabber away in a language that was once unknown to you, but suddenly revealed!

The second point is also to just do it. I've decided to try and master something other than Chinese (French or German seem a lot easier to me than Mandarin, solely because of the same letter system we have, well, almost anyway) in order for me to gain a little bit more confidence. I need to know myself that I can master something new. Also, i don't mind having a bad accent for German or French because I am not German or Fench after all!

The point is, like all things, is to try, to not give up, and to persevere. i just need to learn to take my own advice. 

Potatoes

It's 1am, and I'm awake in my bed. An unfamiliar bed, one I will soon find comfort and warmth in.
The plan tonight was to sleep at 10pm, and be awake bright and early but for some reason I find myself unable to sleep. Maybe it's the coffee earlier. Maybe the wine. Maybe the million thoughts I find myself thinking, about everything, and everyone.

I have just moved into my new apartment. I love it so far. I'm very glad I decided to move and be in my own space, have my own kitchen, hang out in my own living room...everything.

I had a bit of a disastrous shopping trip yesterday - first of all, I went to a shopping mall, and it was terrible : dirty, sleazy, it smelled, and worst of all, it didn't have what I wanted, which was groceries. I took another bus then to another mall, which was a mistake. First, this bus took a really long time to come and I was sitting in the sun, cursing myself for forgetting my sunblock. When it finally came and stopped me where I was supposed to, I had to walk another 800 metres. This isn't particularly far, but I wasn't sure which direction I was going, my maps app was being a little wonky with me and the sun was blazing hot. Also, there was lots of construction going on, so I was even more unsure of the route I was taking.

When I finally got to my destination, I went to the information counter because I wanted to take a cab back. I wasn't particularly interested in the idea of lugging back my groceries and walking 800 metres to a bus stop. The guy at the counter told me there were no taxi stands, and I would have to call a cab if I wanted. So, okay, I would just call a cab later, I thought.

I went shopping and bought a lot of potatoes. Juice. Onions. Red and yellow. These things get pretty heavy. I called the cab. No cab was available. Shit. It started raining. I walked around, holding my two plastic bags of potatoes (this time cursing myself for buying so many potatoes), and found a sign to an MRT station. I was ecstatic. Then I discovered I had to climb down a really steep staircase (it was raining, and I am scared of heights) and this stressed me out further. Plus, I couldn't hold the handrails because of the goddamn POTATOES.

Finally managed to get to the MRT and got home in one piece. The potatoes were also in good condition. I cut them up and made a soup with them. It tasted quite bad, because I had forgotten to buy carrots.

My twelve boxes of stuff are coming next week. I'm panicking slightly, because my apartment is about 400 square metres, and there isn't a lot of space to put stuff. It's time for another massive declutter spree (I love decluttering!) but at the same time, I've been doing so much decluttering even before I moved - I wonder how much I can declutter this time around.

I don't have a shoe rack. This distresses me. I don't know where to put my shoes. I think it's ugly when it's put outside. There's no place for a shoe rack. I even contemplated putting my shoes in the balcony, but realized this was a horrible idea when it rained and the floor got very wet.

I miss my dog.

Other than this, all has been going tremendously well. It scares me sometimes when things go too well, but I've never felt so happy (or rather, haven't felt this happy in a really long time). It's a good feeling to have. I walk to work, and I love walking on overhead bridges, because they make me feel like I'm a little bit more on top of the world.

Onto new things.