Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Indebted

There are certain things people will say to you, designed to make you feel indebted to them.
They speak to you, act as if they have your best interests at heart, but what they're doing is just taking care of themselves, and trying to give themselves a feeling of superiority.
Here's the thing.
I know who I'm indebted to. Who I'm grateful to. Who has helped me. Who has shaped me into the person that I am.
I also know that it irks me to no end, if you decide to hint to me not-so-subtly what I should, and should not do. The same with how I should, and should not feel.

I'll give you an example, an analogy here.
"You should be grateful to your mother because she has fed and clothed you," says a person far removed from you.
This is basic.
This, I know by myself.
Do you think I need you, someone far away from me, telling me what to do?
Do you think I would not know how to feel grateful to my own mother?
(By the way, this is just an example, but I just find it very apt.)
If I'm the one being fed, clothed and loved by my mother, for sure I know how to be grateful. And you, should go away.
You, with your clever comments, should go away.
You should figure your own life out, before attempting to tell me about mine, especially when I have not asked for your opinion.
Also, if I have been acting ungrateful, then I would understand the need for this.
But, no.
Instead, it's just another uncalled for comment, one that doesn't value add anyone's life.

it annoys me, that there are so many people out there who try their best to be negative. Sure, sometimes we do it unintentionally. I guess then, we need to have a little more self awareness (and I am definitely included in this cycle).

Be more positive. And this starts with myself, actually. I write a post here about how annoyed I am, but all I'm doing in actual fact is continuing the negative spiral. It's difficult, to smile at people you want to punch. I'm not zen. I don't have a poker face. When people annoy me, you can tell. My face gets very grumpy and puckered up. I've tried keeping it a little more neutral but it hurts my face.

But again, nothing in life comes easy. And if I don't start trying to be more positive, or trying to let these silly comments not annoy me so much, I'll end up being just like these people that I detest.

I'm trying. A little. I could do with a lot more effort. I believe in fixing myself, before fixing others. It's just a lot easier to pinpoint people's faults then deal with your own.

Things are a little roundabout over here, can you tell?

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