Sunday, March 23, 2014

Farcebook

Decluttering isn't just about the physical.
Decluttering is mental too.
The principle behind decluttering is to clear away the unnecessary, and to be able to focus on what's important.

This is why I deactivated my Facebook account.

Here's why I decided that Facebook was just unnecessary clutter and had to go.

1. Too many nonsense updates from people.
2. Too many people getting married.
3. Too many people having kids.
4. Too many people partying.
5. Too many people travelling.

- Ok, I'm kidding.

The whole point of Facebook is to share - but I believe that Facebook, or social media, pressures us (whether we know it or not) to put on the best front we have.

We see everyone putting up their happy pictures, travelling all over the world, getting married, etc. People put up their happiest moments to share.

Nobody really tweets about how miserable or depressed they are.

If your life doesn't measure up to how great everyone else's is, you're going to feel like you're missing out. You're a loser. You're not travelling, you're not partying, you're not getting married, you're not popping a bun out of your oven - tadah, you're now a proud carrier of FOMO.

When you see everyone in your timeline having an amazing life or just generally being happy, it pressures you to also have an equally amazing life. It's pressure. If you don't succumb to it, good. But, I think Facebook is a lot of unnecessary gloss - I only want to put up pictures of myself where I'm looking presentable enough, and I sure as heck don't want anyone seeing how I look like when I roll out of bed.

It's unreal. It's like TV. We show the glamorous bits, we take out the ugly.

So, let's take a look at some pictures I might put on my Facebook.


This is me in Milan. See the Prada store behind? 


Me at a work event, with my team.


Me telling you I am a VIP! 


Me on holiday at an island resort!

Me being a bridesmaid to a gorgeous Indian bride.
(The Chinese dude is not the bride btw.) 



Me in varying selfies where I approve of how I look.
God. It's a bit embarrassing how self absorbed all of this is.

The point I'm making, by posting all these photos above is for you to have the impression that :
a) I'm well travelled (look at me traipsing around Europe and off for island resorts).
b) I'm constantly going for 'glamorous' work events. (I have a ton more pictures, but they're all of me with varying backdrops and people, you get the drift. I'm just posting one as an example.)
c) I'm happy with how I look. (hence shoving my face down your Facebook feed, selfie after selfie after selfieeeeee....).

Looking at the pictures above, I feel a bit like I could come off as a princess-type. Hmmn.

No matter!

Here's what I choose not to show you, and what I wouldn't put on my Facebook, hence you think I'm not some well-groomed, outgoing person that's always at events.


This is me sans makeup, when I got pneumonia. Had to be hooked up to it to get more oxygen.


This is the day I got diagnosed in the hospital - terrible hair, no makeup, feeling like shit but trying to smile.


This is me passed out. 


This is what happens when you have those houseman people constantly poking your arm to draw blood and doing it wrong.
One time : "Oops! I put it in the wrong bottle. Can I take your blood again?"



I forgot what happened that made my hand swell up like that because there were so many mistakes made at that hospital, but suffice to say - I wasn't feeling great.


Because the nurses kept drawing blood in a very horrible way out of me, I ended up not having anywhere left for them to poke except for my neck. This is me after the doctor dude sewed up a tube to my neck. Then I got connected to my IV drip which was beside my bed. Went to bed every night frightened to death I would jerk and have my neck ripped apart.




This is me, being the first person to my own farewell party. Guys, come on!! Why are you so late??!



This is me, how I really look like with glasses and no make up.

I think you should be able to see the difference between the two sets of pictures. The second set of pictures I took just for the heck of it, with never an intention to put it on Facebook. After all, I didn't want the world seeing me moaning and groaning and with no makeup! 

We all want to be seen as beautiful globe-trotting people that are living lives designed for envy. I am not saying my life is enviable, I am illustrating a point that we can choose to portray ourselves in whatever angle we want. The second set of pictures would probably have everyone thinking I'm an attention seeking person that wants you to feel sorry for me because I'm trapped in a hospital. Why else take these pictures?

So, I don't want to be stuck in this farce anymore. I don't want to have to think about how to market myself on social media. What my branding is. I do enough of that in my daily job, I don't want to do it on a personal level too. 

I don't advocate everyone quits Facebook. A lot of people genuinely like sharing stuff. A lot of people don't post selfies. God I'm so sick of selfies - including my own. How often can you take of seeing a person's faee? You can use Facebook for lots of good things - sharing news, especially if you live in a country where the government controls media. For keeping in touch especially when you're out of the country. For making new friends or new connections. Or you could be one of those people that just stalk other people but don't post anything of your own. Ok, that I find weird.

I probably will go back to Facebook one day. I've deactivated FB a few times, each time for a few months. But right now, at this moment, I'm happy without it in my life.




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