After all, it's a shopping city. Everyone you meet on the streets or the train is clutching a designer bag, an expensive phone, or is wearing a giant H on his or her belt. (Honestly, I think this big Hermes buckle belt looks very crass, flashy and tasteless. I thought luxury is supposed to be understated!)
I thought I would cave right back into the hole of consumerism, one I'd spent months burrowing trying to get out of.
Fast forward six months, I'm not sure but I think moving here has started having an adverse effect on me.
I cannot stand the sight of another designer bag.
Another boring, uninspired bag with some branded logo stamped all over it - just in case you miss out that it's branded.
I'm not against all designer bags - I like bags with interesting shapes, nice designs, etc. But the bag I hate the most in the world, is the bag that is on everyone's shoulder, a bag that is being carried just as a status symbol, just to say, hey, look, I've enough money to buy this.
There is no personality, no character. This is what I detest most. It's just a show, an empty shell.
It's strange, but I have really lost all urges to buy designer stuff anymore. I went to Milan last year in December. I thought I would die of excitement shopping for designer stuff, but I actually came back empty handed. (Well, empty bag-handed.) I bought a lot of food instead.
I think I'm over this whole idea of bags, which is strange to me. I always couldn't wait till I earned enough money to treat myself to nice bags shoes, but now, I feel like it is a complete waste of money to spend so much cash on a freaking bag. You may argue that an expensive bag lasts longer, etc, but you and I know that's not why we buy the bags. We want the prestige that comes along with the bag. We want to say that we've made it. We're cool. We're in the in crowd, all of us, desperately clutching onto our bags. I confess. I have a Prada, and when I have an important meeting or feel like I'm going to be particularly judged, I drag it out to tote around. Yes, I feel a bit more secure, for some reason. And it's stupid. It's stupid! We don't need these material things to tell us we're good enough.
Or, another possible hypotheses is I've been spending so much money on holidays I now no longer have money for bags. I rather take the same amount of money and spend it on a holiday or visiting Europe.
On that note...I really want to go back to Japan soon. I think it's the most inspirational country in the world!
And...it seems a little bit sinful. Spending so much when you know there are a lot of needy people in the world. I guess the same logic could be argued with spending on a holiday, but for me it just feels different. I haven't done any volunteer work at all since getting here. There is no excuse - I have been just too lazy, too distracted. I think, I shall attempt to look for a home this weekend.
Back in KL, when I used to drop by the volunteer home, it made a lot of things in life clearer for me. It gave me perspective. The home i used to go to was a very tidy, well kept home, and kids were generally happy - but it really did make me think twice about the way I was spending and how I never thought twice about having a Starbucks coffee.
Lately, I have started forgetting the lessons I learnt being in the volunteer home, and I don't think this is too good for my soul. While I don't have an obsession with bags I have plenty of shallow facets in my life - and I am beginning to tire of the lack of depth in my life.
So, two things to do this weekend.
Volunteer, to nourish my soul. (Honestly, I doubt a little I will do this because I am feeling very, very lazy, but I will try and force myself to)
Read, to nourish my mind. I started reading a Murakami book last night, and I think I'll devote Saturday to finishing it.
I want to move away, from the path of consumerism, to one that is a little bit more fulfilling to me. Living alone here has made me realize a couple of things, about what I want, what I crave, and more importantly, what I thought I wanted.
I want meaning in my life. I want passion, purpose, a sense of accomplishment and happiness. I can work all day and all night and buy myself a lot of holidays - but I think there has to be more in between.
Signing out now. Good night, world!