Sunday, March 23, 2014

Politik


I love Coldplay's 'A Rush of Blood To The Head'.
The entire album, not just the track.

It was over a year ago, when I was driving home from a friend's hotpot dinner, listening to Politik. It was a very strange feeling - the night was dark and cool, the roads were clear, Coldplay blaring through my car's speakers.

I remember driving past the PJ Trade Centre, watching the buildings, and a very strong feeling came over me - I knew I was leaving this.

It was a feeling of absolute certainty, and I was now looking at the city I called home with the eyes of someone who was leaving, someone who was moving away.

I had no idea where I was going.

There were no promises that I would be transferred. I had no idea how I was going to get out of there, but I just knew that without a doubt, I was leaving.

It's a bit of a surreal feeling, when you're suddenly hit with this kind of...premonition? Would you call it a premonition?

Fast forward to today, where I'm here.

Happy as a lark.

I'm listening to The Scientist now, one of my favourite songs - because I used to listen to it over and over again when I was in a very dark place in my life. I like that song - it's sad, melancholic, but there's hope in it. That song made me feel a bit hopeful, and it made me feel like things would be okay. It made me realize things were hard, but it would be okay.

Nobody said it was easy.

Listening to that song now, when I'm in a very different place in life, reminds me of those days. It's nice, knowing myself, that there's been change, there's been progress.

Everyone told me I would never be able to move, that all I had was a bunch of empty promises to hold on to. The naysayers were loud, and after a while, I listened to them.

I'm here now.

The next thing for me now, is to figure out - what's next.

That makes life kind of exciting - the great unknown. I've always been a planner - I have a 5 year plan, a 10 year plan, but now those plans have been abandoned. In fact, I decided 5 years ago I would move, and that's what I focused all my energies on.

It's nice to have a plan, but it feels strangely liberating stepping out to a place where I don't know what the future holds for me. It brings me far out of comfort zone - and that's what I've been craving for. Complacency drives me mad. I thrive on stress.

I'm writing this because I started listening to Coldplay again on Spotify. Seriously, that entire album speaks my soul. Every single song. It's like - did they go through what I went through??

Your guess is as good as mine.

:)

No comments:

Post a Comment