Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Unblog


Hello everyone.

I’ve decided to take a break from my blog. I’m toying with the idea of a break, or a permanent deactivation of my blog. I guess you take a break from a relationship when you’re nervous that it’s not working but you don’t want to imagine life without it.

Here are the reasons for why I’m taking a break from this blog.

1.     I’m not inspired. I feel my content is repetitive and boring. Perhaps it’s my subject matter, but how much can I talk about decluttering? I’m not a minimalist, I cannot preach it. I’m trying to pare down my life, but this is paring down the words and stuff I have to say too! By this, I don’t mean minimalists are boring, but perhaps I’m limiting myself to a scope that I don’t have expertise on.

2.     A lot of people tell me I should have more focus on my blog. If it’s a blog about decluttering, then blog about decluttering. Don’t blog about your shopping trip to Hong Kong! (man that was fun!) The point of the blog, though is not really so much to be some declutter guru, but to make myself happy. It’s a means for me to write every day, to write anything, no matter how inane it might be! I don’t really feel the need to justify this to people, but since I’m typing it out, I guess I subconsciously do feel this need.

3.     I’m off to the Philippines in the next few days. Hopefully a new place and space will give me lots of inspiration.

4.     I may want to focus on more projects offline, then online. 

5.     I might want to unplug myself from social media totally. Right now, my three avenues are my email, my Twitter and my blog. It seems slightly hypocritical to swear off social media and talk about privacy when I have a blog (but it’s different, I swear!)

6.     The blog is stressing me out. It’s existing, pulsating, but I feel like I’m not doing it any justice. When I don’t write, I feel guilty. When I write, I feel like I’m writing nonsense. I need to write more pieces of quality, pieces that I’m proud of myself. I don’t want to write just for the sake of writing.

7.     This month is a crazy busy month for me, and maybe it’s okay to take a break sometimes.

So there you have it, my reasons for being on a break (or break up) with my blog.
Have a good week ahead, guys!

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Toxic

I think I was about fifteen when I first read about toxic people - and how you should get rid of them. I briefly understood the concept when I first read about it, and as the years go by, I find myself having a deeper understanding for that.

It's of course very easy to say we should get rid of toxic people. The reality and the ideal, however are two very different things. If you're in a group of friends there are bound to be one or two toxic people who are really nasty. At the same time, I've come to realize that a person isn't necessarily 100% toxic, and sometimes just has toxic aspects to them. People aren't just divided into 'good' and 'bad', there are too many layers for us to be able to judge something so simply.

I have a very simple definition of what makes a toxic person, and it is this : a person who just doesn't make you feel good.

It doesn't matter for what reason. Maybe that person is always trying to bring you down. Scoffing at your hopes or dreams. Trying to make you keep up with the Joneses. Laughs at you, mocks you, bullies you. You might think once you've escaped school you have escaped bullying but I've learnt, and I've seen with my own eyes that, that isn't necessarily true. 

It's pretty hard to just 'dump' a toxic person. What if that person is in your family? A really annoying relative that you're forced to constantly see. Someone who's in your group of friends. Dumping a person might lead to you dumping the whole group, if you're trying to run away from that person. 

I usually operate by phasing myself away from a particular toxic person. If a toxic person exists within a group, I sometimes do just miss total outings. You may say this is silly, but I measure how much happiness / anger a particular outing is going to cost me, and if I know I'm going to be walking away angrier than happy, then I rather miss out. 

What I have found most effective though, is not focusing on my hatred of toxic people, but surrounding myself with nice, genuine people. While it's not easy to find a lot of them, you will always be pleasantly surprised by people if you give them a chance - especially people you might not have thought you could have connected with. 

Sometimes we fall into the trap of being with toxic people because we simply fear being alone. While it's not easy being alone, I always maintain that it is better to be alone than be with the wrong people.


Monday, April 14, 2014

Unnecessary

We do a lot of things to prove a point.
Sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously.
We dress a certain way, act a certain way, convince ourselves sometimes that the version we play-act actually is the real us. 
Oh, there are genuine people out there, but well hidden amongst the masses of fakes, phonies and charlatans. Yes, charlatans. That's what you are. 

And..I'm getting tired of these people. So unnecessary, the way people act sometimes, just to prove their cool, or they've made it, or they're so clever, or whatever.

It is so unnecessary.

Go stuff yourself in a paper bag and flush yourself down a toilet, or something.

Sheesh.

Monday, April 7, 2014

#fail

Hello everyone!

My oh my it's good to be back. It's almost 2am Sunday night, and I just got home from adventure-ing in Hong Kong.

Hong Kong is an amazing city! It didn't disappoint and I love the character and vibe of the city. As much as I love Singapore, it can be a little bit too 'sanitized' in some ways, and Hong Kong is full of great vibes and characters! (I even got thrown out of a cab today, but never mind.)

The good news is, I managed to travel to Hong Kong very light. I checked in my luggage, a small carry on suitcase size type, and had only my laptop with me when I boarded the plane. The bad news was, I came across a Samsonite shop and I decided I needed to buy a big suitcase for future travels (my previous one cracked, and I'd been surviving on this small suitcase so far).

After I bought the big suitcase, I realized I had a lot of space. And, today, I had a lot of time, so I gleefully went to World Trade Centre because there was a particular shop I wanted to attack, and then off to Times Square at Causeway Bay.

Here's the damage :

1. 3 tops.
2. Shorts.
3. 6 pairs shoes.
4. 1 pair sunnies.
5. Really cute nightwear.
6. 1 big luggage
7. A new handbag.

Even at the airport I shopped and ended up with a Furla bag. God damn it. I wrote long posts about how much I hate branded bags and blah blah blah and then I end up buying one. But it was so cute! Damn it.

So I fell off the wagon, and I realized that I'm sliding in between two extremes - certain days I am all minimalist and decide I don't need these stupid superficial things, and then certain days I find myself like a person possessed in a nice shopping mall and poof - away goes the money.

I'm going to swear off buying stuff again for a while, although I foresee a little blip in the horizon - I have a Bangkok shopping trip with a girlfriend coming up, but we'll see how that goes.

I might write another post about this, I'm not sure, but one of the reasons I had such a nice time in Hong Kong was because I met my good friend David. We've been friends for 15 years and he moved away from Malaysia quite a while back, so I usually saw him only once a year (if lucky) or once every few years. To cut a long story short, I now have developed a much higher appreciation for good friends, good conversations and good vibes.

Ok, I have to wake up and work in a few hours, so good night world!

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Smug

I cannot tell you how ridiculously self-satisfied and smug I am with myself right now.

I'm leaving for the airport in 20 minutes, and my house is exactly the way it should look. Laundry folded, floors swept and mopped, dishes done, countertops clean.

It's also crazy how long this takes! I live in a tiny apartment, only 450 square feet, and since I got on my minimalism roll I have been steadily throwing stuff out - but it still takes ages to put everything in order!

I won't be writing for the next week or so as I'll be in meetings in Hong Kong. But, what I did want to write about today was the perfect weekend I had.

This is how it went :

Morning : Woke up, Skyped for  a while, then lazed in bed. Two hours later decided to plop myself in the swimming pool and swim. Finished swimming, sat by the pool reading Murakami's 'The Elephant Vanishes'. (sidenote - finished it. Not so pleased.)

Afternoon : Waited for maintanence guy to fix my sliding door. He came, and it took 3 minutes. After he left, I took a nap. Woke up, Skyped a bit more, then went out for dinner.

Dinner : Went out for dinner with a fellow Malaysian who's leaving Singapore. I'm super sad he's leaving, he was here for 9 months and he's a super nice guy -down to earth, no airs, fun, the anything goes type of person. He's going home to get married, so he has a whole new exciting life ahead of him! We fought over the bill, both were very violent in wanting to pay. I won. I always win at this bill paying game!

Came home, slept.

Sunday was even lazier than Saturday, I didn't even leave my house and instead alternated between sleeping on my bed and dozing off on my sofa.

I think my body is now prepped for the coming frenetic pace that will be Hong Kong, and next week when a nuclear bomb of activity hits me!

The point of this story is not to bore your socks off - but it's that it's really good to have your own alone time. It's good to just unwind, chill and take a step back. I am finally getting really tired of being in a constant hectic pace, which was my life in KL, and now in Singapore things are  so much easier. Of course, I have a lot less friends in Singapore than back home, which also explains the less busy pace.

Off to Hong Kong now. I shall come home with adventures to share!