Thursday, October 1, 2015

Get Rid of Toxic Friends

I'm pretty sure I've written about toxic friends one time too many, but I haven't had to think about in since moving to Singapore. It's not so much that there are nicer people here, but I've made a specific effort to only be with friends that I genuinely love and care for and who are uplifting for me.

I went back to KL last weekend and decided it would be a good idea to meet up with some old friends before I do my biggity move. This turned out to be a huge mistake - or maybe not, because it taught me an important lesson, because I spent my time with an incredibly negative person who was hell-bent on taking me down at every possible moment. I initially intended to re-hash every nasty, petty little comment she had made - ranging from how my bosses must be moving me because they wanted to get rid to me, to insulting the company I worked for and how 'EWw' the culture must be, but I've decided not to. (That, and I've also complained about her to my other girlfriends, heh heh).

This got me thinking though - when someone is so blatantly rude to you to your face, what do you do? She made plenty of outright nasty remarks but I was so shellshocked that I was rendered speechless most of the time. First I tried to laugh it off as a joke, then I stopped smiling, and by the third comment I was glaring at her and rolling my eyes. In hindsight, I think from now on if people are so unnecessarily rude (and small) to me, I've decided that they just don't warrant a response.

Of course, some of my friends said 'You should have given it back to her!'. In all honesty, I think the reason I didn't 'give it back to her' was also due to the fact that I'm not at all in envy of her life. She's not somebody I respect or look up to. I guess it's also because she no longer mattered in my life. She's unimportant and irrelevant, but at the same time irritating enough for me to write a post on her.

If I were to look back and think, would I have made any nasty remarks to her - the answer would still be no. And really, it's because she seems to consumed by hate and negativity and cattiness that it looks sad. I think I would have wanted to 'give it back to her' if she was someone who was really smug about herself, but the sad thing is I think she is wanting for so much in her life and for whatever reason she's not getting it, she takes it out on people.

By the way, she has a nice life. Good job, personal life going great - so I don't really understand her need to be so nasty and put other people down - but I don't have to.

Waving goodbye to her, I knew that this would be the last time I ever see or speak to her again.

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